Episode 41: What Do You Want? How To Create An Effective Action Plan

By February 80% of people would have ditched their New Year’s goals. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, a sociologist, created a planning framework that changed her and her husband’s lives. They went from being self described “miserable, workaholic, perfectionists,” to retiring in their 40’s and living life on their own terms. But it all started with a plan, that they revisited and revised over time. In this episode Dr. Rockquemore explains the framework that has now helped thousands of people create a plan they can actually stick to.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

All right, Dr. Rock, I am so happy to have you here with me today, like, beyond thrilled. Thank you so much for joining. And I do want to start this way by telling you that this podcast, actually, I don’t know if you’re going to remember because it was probably a blip for you, but it was like a big deal for me. But I called you one time in 2016 or 2017, I think you were in Mexico, and I was like, how do you know when it’s time to do something else? And you told me that I needed to interview people. Like, you’re, like, you’re a journalist. Go out and talk to people, interview them about what their lives are really like, so you don’t get the rose colored glasses view of something else that you might be interested in. You really get an idea of what they are actually doing.

So I went out and did that and had great conversations with people and learned so much about them and expanded my network. Because of how juicy those conversations were, that is the basis of this podcast is kind of simulating having those conversations as somebody who’s seeking and searching and trying to figure out what’s going on. So you inspired that. And so that was my turning point where I was like, I need an exit strategy. It took some years still, but I knew, I was like, all right, I think this is unsustainable. And you’ve written that in 2006 was kind of your point for you and your husband of like, all right, this is just not working. And you guys described it as being, “miserable, workaholic, perfectionist, careening towards midlife crises.” That’s what you wrote.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

To put a fine point on it! (Laughs) Yup!

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

So explain that.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Yeah, I think my husband and I basically had done everything you’re supposed to do to be happy. Right? Like, we had gotten all the degrees, we had impressive jobs. We bought a house. We lived in an amazing city. We got to travel the world for work. We volunteered at our church. We were doing all the things, and we were just miserable. If you looked at us from the outside, we looked really successful, especially for our age and especially for where we came from.

But only you live inside your own life, right? And we had a strong enough relationship to be able to admit to each other we were both miserable. Just couldn’t continue just working to the point of exhaustion every week for, I don’t know why. It was awful.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Yeah. A lot of people stay there.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

And I say that in total clarity that there’s also a huge amount of privilege with our misery. Right. We were unhappy, but of course, all our needs were met. Right. And I think in some ways, that made it harder, because there was also this piece about, how dare I complain when all my needs are met, right? I have an amazing job. I have a job. A lot of other people. I was a tenured professor. A lot of other people work really hard and never get. But again, only you live inside your life. Right. And we were both off.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Yeah. And it’s hard to come to that realization of saying it out loud. It’s one thing to feel it in your body, and the friction, and I’m dreading Mondays. It’s another thing to say it out loud, but then it’s still something completely different to do something drastically about it.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Indeed.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

So how did you know what the first steps would be?

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Yeah. So I should say that I am incredibly risk averse. Part of becoming a professor and getting tenure is so that you have job security for life. Right. I’m not a big risk taker, so even the thought of change was absolutely terrifying. Right.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Really, Dr. Rock, I would never in my life ever describe you that way. 

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Oh, you’re kidding! Really? Wow. Yes. That is exactly how I am risk averse. And let me say this. It’s important always to know these. When people see me from the outside, they’re like, you were a tenured professor. You left a guaranteed job for life and started a company, even though you had never even worked in a company before. That’s bananas.

Right. But I think the real story is that it took years. There were years behind the scenes of very slow, steady, gradual movement. Lots of micro decisions. Right. In order to get up my courage, to be able to step out of absolute certainty. Whereas I do think people who are genuinely, in my mind, at least, there are people who just jump out the window, right, when they want to do something. I am of the little baby steps.

Little baby steps, yeah. And I’m a slow decision maker when it comes to. Let’s be honest, I have really strong intuition. I do feel like I have a powerful connection to my inner wisdom, but I also have to hear it in numerous ways and have it validated in other places in my life. I don’t just like, I have an idea and then I go run with it. I’m slow and steady in that way.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Wow. Well, I learned something. No, because I think in the search for tenure because I was so sad when you left the university. Because (you were) like, this is not going to happen here. I need to go to this other place, and you were moving around so much and stuff like that. And then you got the tenure.

Wow. Well, I learned something about you because I think I’m slow. I’m really quiet, though, while it’s happening. But then it looks like on the outside that I just jump off of a cliff. Because when I jump, and that’s the thing, is I leave some breadcrumb crumbs, but you have to be really paying attention. And then it just looks like, boom, she just went crazy one day because it’s been building up for so long. And so taking those small steps, I think more people can identify with you taking small steps. Talk about that, because that was the planning piece, right? 

I remember you telling us how you would have “crazy talk.” Do you guys still call it “crazy talk” with your husband, where you would go and you guys would talk about your dreams and have your book of your dreams and stuff? And I was like, wow, this is amazing. But just planning. Talk about how planning has just been core to your growth.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Really? Sure. Well, I think when we both realized how unhappy we were, we took some time to really think about our life, right? I think we realized, oh, we’ve been doing all the things that everybody else said we should be doing, like, what do we actually want, right? What do we want in our marriage? What do we want in our friends? What do we want for community? What do we want when it comes to our work and money and legacy, and when it comes to our physical health, our spiritual health, our emotional health? And what do we want in terms of just growing as human beings? Right. Our intellectual growth, our creative growth, our experiential growth. So we took some time to literally envision what we wanted our life to look like across all these different domains, because we had been living a life that was just work and everything else. And honestly, we were working crazy hours. So it literally was work and everything else. And so, taking a step back, we kind of asked ourselves, what do we want across all these different domains of our life? And then we started really saying, we’re not going to go from where we are today to kind of how we envision our life tomorrow. But in this coming year, we could take a couple of steps in that direction, right? Like, what are some small steps that we could take to start moving in that direction? And so that’s when we started.

Like, this was our, we called it our annual clarity retreat. And the whole idea was instead of just grabbing goals or resolutions or things that we should do out of thin air or out of whatever everybody tells us we should be doing to really say, what’s the life we’re trying to build? And for goals, why don’t we pick some things that will move us in that direction that we feel like we can realistically do in a year? And the planning part was simply that, like, okay, if we want to move in this direction, what do we need to do this year? Not that it’s going to happen this year or this month, but what do we need to do to start getting ourselves ready, right? To start just pushing in that direction? And honestly, that’s some of the planning. Right. It sounds really simple, but I think most people have no idea what they want. I think most people, even if they know what they want, they can only think of it in one domain. Or maybe they have a two dimensional life. Work and family, work and everything else we don’t even allow ourselves to imagine. Like, what do I want across these different domains? What does a full and meaningful life look like to me? And then to really be willing to say, this is a concrete way I could step in that direction this year.

And of course, personally, I love goals because I’m very motivated, especially if it’s like, this is how I want to live, I’m very motivated by that. And so during the year, we really keep those goals alive, right? And so we kept doing that year after year after year, and pretty soon life starts to look really different and then it looks radically different. It’s unrecognizable. And we start this process every year by pulling out, we have this big book that we’ve been keeping since we started. I think it’s 17 years now. Every year it’s like, what’s the biggest thing we can imagine and dream? And then we reread it because what we used to think was, like, crazy unimaginable. Oh, my God, this would be such an amazing life. And now it is our life. Right? 

And to be able to see how things have unfolded over time. If my house caught on fire, that’s the one thing I would take out. We’re now a dream volume. Yeah. First one held ten years, and now we’re in our second one. That’s what I would take out. Because I think really using our gifts, our creative gifts, to imagine, to be able to listen to that still soft voice about what’s right for us. 

And then to be able to create a life. And for us, it’s a life of service. So for us, that’s what’s meaningful. But to be able to create that in a way that feels both in characteristics and pace fulfilling. That’s like the best project of my life.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

It’s the intention behind it that I really love. I want to break down a number of things that you said first, starting with the fact that it is a retreat that you go on, meaning that you remove yourself from your kind of day to day life. Why is that important for you to kind of remove yourself, even if you’re not going far away on a trip, but just remove yourself from your everyday surroundings to do this work?

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Well, I think honestly, it’s a luxury to do it as a retreat. It’s ideal because you are completely 100% out of your day to day life. And I think you are able to sort of not be distracted. Right. And so nobody’s doing laundry on the break and nobody is cooking or doing this and that. So I think what’s more important is the cessation of distraction. Right. During COVID we didn’t travel and we still did our annual clarity retreat.

Nowhere was open, but we just went outside. The key is no distractions, no phones, nothing’s beeping, no electronics. There’s just time to really connect with your inner wisdom, to connect with what you truly desire. So certainly, I lead a group of people through this every year. Some people just do it in a day, right? They do it at their house in a day. Other people do it, they do a little bit of the work each week and they carve out space. They carve out space. They close their home office and just attend to it. But I think the key piece is shutting down the distractions and really being open to yourself.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

How about looking back? I know the first step is really like reviewing the year that was. The past year. I know you talk about not letting maybe the exhaustion that you’re feeling at the end of the year cloud your assessment of all twelve months. How can you accurately really reflect what the past year was or was not?

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Yeah, I mean, this is the number one thing people are like. However I feel right now is how the year was. Right. I’m exhausted, I’m tired, I’m cranky, whatever. It was a bad year. Right. And for us, we go through a series of questions which encourage a longer view. Right.

So something as simple as what were your goals last year? Right. Where did you start the year? Did you meet them or not meet them? Why or why not? But even things like what unexpected blessings came into your life during the year? And to trigger my memory, I just go back through my camera roll, right. Because whenever I’m blessed, I’m like, oh, look at me. I take pictures of things and just going back through my camera roll, so many things I forgot, right? I’m not on social media, but people who are look back at their social media feeds. It’s just a way of remembering, but also asking things like, what peak experiences did I have this year, right? When are those moments when I felt like, fully alive and inspired and in awe? What was I doing when they happened? Are there any patterns? Right? And things, I think probably my favorite question is what’s working and what’s not working? If I look across the whole year. Because my husband and I do this together, inevitably when we compare our lists, somebody has something on their working list that they thought was totally the jam, and it’s on the other person’s not working list, which is great because that inspires conversation. It’s great if you have a partner to do it that way. But also, I like to end kind of that year in review thinking about positive impact. Especially for people who are givers, we tend to just think about the things that didn’t work out right? Or the things we didn’t get done or if we missed something or somebody or some opportunity. 

And it’s amazing what happens when givers actually quantify and describe all the ways that they’ve given in their household, in their neighborhood, in their community, in their extended family, in whatever their church, temple, et cetera. When givers actually quantify what they’ve given, they’re kind of stunned. Right? And so actually thinking about positive impact, all of this I really see as just data. Like, I look at my year and I’m looking for data because I want to be able to see patterns. And almost every year, I think the year went one way, and then I go and do the work and I’m like, wow, this was an amazing year. And of course, there’s good, bad, ugly, beautiful. But my pattern is I see all the things that maybe didn’t quite work or were a failure or something, and I miss the whole mountain of blessings, amazing synchronicities. People who came into my life, new projects, born.

Life is really good even in the midst of so much that’s problematic.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

I know. That’s so true. I love the focus on blessings. I love that because also when you’re starting to, you train yourself to kind of focus on it and review it, then you start looking for it. You know what I mean? Like, I got to find a blessing. Where’s the blessing? Where’s the blessing? Let me find the blessing.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Well, I’m giggling. But it’s profound. If your worldview is looking for what is wrong versus your worldview is looking for what is right and good and joyful in your life, that’s a very different way of moving in the world.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

100%. Let’s talk about realistic goal setting. And you’re talking about how you shouldn’t have a goal that should take three to five years and try to do it in one. You’re setting yourself up. How do you know what’s realistic and not, that’s not playing small. It’s the balancing of both things, of really trying to push yourself to your goals but also having your feet on the ground.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Yeah. So I would say that the vast majority of people, when they set goals for the year, to me it looks like five years of goals. Right? And so part of, I think, if you’re not sure, is to just take out a piece of paper and map out, here I am today. Here’s where this goal is. What work needs to be done to bridge that gap. I like to try to map out as many of the projects and tasks as possible, not just to see how much work there is, but really to get a sense of, “A” do I even understand what’s involved here? Right? Do I even know how this works? Because for a lot of people, they set a goal, they have no idea how something works, and that’s okay. But then the goal is figuring out how it works, right?

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

And that takes time, too. That takes time to figure it out and then execute it and then iterate because you’re still figuring out how it works.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

And to talk to people who are already doing it. Right. Like you talked about this before, talking to people who are already doing it is one of the most powerful ways of figuring out a, do I even want to do this? And “B,”  how does it all work? As well as building a network for your eventually doing it, but also because sometimes you map it out and you do realize when you see the sheer volume of what’s involved. Oh, this is a two year project, not a two month project. So to me, kind of making things as concrete as possible helps me to figure out what’s realistic. But also, I’m always just trying to hit a sweet spot between. It’s a bit of a stretch, right? It is going to be a stretch and I am going to push, but it’s not so enormous that I don’t know how it’s going to happen. Right.

People say to me all the time, I’m going to build a seven figure business this year. I’m like, okay, great. Do you have a business plan or marketing plan or whatever? And they’re like, Jesus! I’m like, you know, I love me some Jesus, but I’m going to need some more details. Right. And again, I don’t know if that works great, but most people who for me are like, I’m going to manifest it, I’m going to do this, I’m going to do this. But they don’t really know what’s involved in actually going from, I have an idea for a startup to an actual company generating seven figures of revenue. That’s not usually a one year project. That’s going to take a little bit more. 

So anyway, I think getting as concrete about it, but also personally, I don’t like to do this alone. Right. Because it’s the getting in conversation, I think that helps people to…a buddy is going to ask you questions, right. Even in the spirit of support and wanting your goals. My husband has no problem asking me questions about the level at which I’ve set a goal, right. And we have never in our lives set too low of goals.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

For the people who don’t know, people who are unfamiliar with Dr. Rock, setting a low goal is not in her DNA, period.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

It’s not a danger for us. So, you know, I think in getting in conversation with people also really helps to get real about it because if I can’t have a conversation with you about my goal, something’s a little off there.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

And I was going to ask next, it dovetails perfectly into the accountability piece of having a partner along the way. So you’ve made the plan, you’ve made the goals for all aspects of your life. What should accountability like the touch points look like? What do they look like for you?

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

For me, I need a lot of touch points because I would sooner die than disappoint somebody I’ve made a commitment to. But I give myself a lot. I give myself a lot of leeway and grace. I will disappoint myself.

Just knowing that’s how I am and I don’t have any shame about it, I just need for somebody else to know what I said I’m going to do, who’s going to hold me accountable. And for me, accountability is like weekly touches, right?

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Okay.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

I think it looks different for different people. But for me, I love to have an accountability group. A group of people who I say, this is what I commit to doing this week. And then next week I have to say whether I did it or not, and if I didn’t do it, why I didn’t do it. And again, just knowing myself, I’m not going to do it till right before the meeting. Right. I may do it five minutes before the meeting, but, you know, it will get done because I would be embarrassed to show up in front of other people week after week after week being like, yeah, I thought I was going to do it. I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it. I didn’t do it.

That would be humiliating to me. So I may do it right before the meeting, but it will absolutely get done. Now other people don’t need that much accountability. For other people accountability looks different, but to me, accountability means answering for what you said you were going to do and holding your word. Right. And if you don’t do it, being able to process why. That’s my version of accountability.

I think other people think of it very differently, and that’s Okay. I think the key is asking yourself, especially if you set a stretch goal, like, what’s actually going to get me to do this, right? And if I start talking myself out of it, what’s the backstop here? Right. What’s going to happen? Because if it’s nothing, you may just talk yourself out of it.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Yeah. I want people to really get a sense of how far your life has or how much your life has transformed since the moment in 2006 that you talked about. Explain how you completely, changed everything.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Let’s see, when we started this, I was a professor. My husband, I think, was a partner in a consulting firm. We both quit our jobs. We both started our own respective companies. We both grew those companies. We both exited those companies. We traveled to, I think, 30 different countries. We became a philanthropist. We became angel investors. We became mentors to other social entrepreneurs. We have lived in, I have lost track of how many places.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

That’s always my first question to you. Where are you now? Where are you? Like, I had a house in Chicago, and then I’m in Detroit, and then I’m a snowbird in Mexico and in California and all these places.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

We have lived in many different permutations, but I currently live in my dream house right on the beach in Santa Monica, California. Yeah. I just feel like I’m kind of talking about all of the ego accomplishment types of things. I think probably what’s changed so much more is that I was just completely miserable and I wasn’t really living the life that was mine to live. And I feel like since then, I’m completely off of social media, completely unplugged from all of the things that really shape how you think you should do things.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

So that I miss you not being on social media. I love the blog. I read every single one. Yeah.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

I live a very private life. It’s so radical, right? And more than anything, I’m retired. Right? So I am able to spend my time, as much time as possible in my zone of genius, helping as many people as I can, as freely as I can, using my gifts. And for me, that’s what a meaningful life looks like. Just being able to serve in a way that’s not exhausting, but in a way that is sustainable and to really be able to do all the things that I love. So, yeah, I think my day to day life looks unrecognizable, but also my health, also my nervous system is unrecognizable. I spend a huge amount of my day, instead of hyper vigilant for every potential thing that could go wrong, really feeling on a day-to-day basis that incredible, deep, rich feeling of joy and contentment.

And no matter what else has happened in my life, being able to live in that space of joy is the best part of it.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

That’s the part. That’s what I’m telling you when they say goals, even though I didn’t know at the time (when you were my college professor) how you were feeling about the whole circumstance, it was 2002, maybe, but I was just like, I have never met a woman like this in my life. To me, you were so free back then. I was like, oh, my God. And then it just got more and more and more. Oh, my God, this is amazing! The hell? But it was great to see. Because even back then, you were doing things that you felt were great for your marriage.

Like what? Oh, well, this just works for us, or saying, I don’t want to have children, and you just already knew that. And I had never heard a woman say that out loud before and stuff like that. So it just was, like, mind blown. I don’t know who this lady is. Not to mention you gave us your personality testing in class. Like, this is who I am. 

We had to sign a contract for our grade. If you want an A or B, this is what you need to do. C is doing everything you’re supposed to do, because that’s average. If you want to be above average, I don’t care if your mom and dad told you you were great. I said, who is this woman? What did I sign up for? What? 

So if I could, I know. I want to be respectful of your time. Just two more questions for you. Is your vision, how you have the vision statement for your life? Do you still read it every day?

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

I do, yeah.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

And explain that to us how you read a vision statement and how especially we were talking about burnout before, how it helps you measure what’s worth your time and what’s not.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Absolutely. I still use a paper planner, and that works for me because I’m retired. I’m not recommending it, but it works for me. And I just keep right in the front of my planner my vision. Right. And for me, the vision is sort of what I desire across all these different areas of my life. And I read it out loud because I just feel different about it reading it out loud. Right.

And I put a little extra zhuzh in it when I read it. It’s not like it takes more than a minute or two, but as I start reading it out loud, I’m reminded on a daily basis what it is that I desire. Right. Really? I believe that we all have that part of ourselves that knows all the answers to our questions and what’s right for us. That’s the part I’m connecting to every year when I’m writing this vision. And so reminding myself, hey, when I was connected with my inner wisdom, really working on this, this is what I desired. So I’m also kind of checking in, like, yeah, is that still what I desire? Of course it is. But I read it out loud, and honestly, reading it first thing in the morning, these things are so cemented in my mind that they become filters for my decision making throughout the day, right? Because even though I’m retired, and maybe especially because I’m retired, people ask me to do a lot of things because they assume I have an abundance of time, which I do.

But just because I have an abundance of time doesn’t mean that I need to be the worker bee on everybody else’s agenda, right? So this is a way of establishing and holding my own agenda, which is still, I’m a helper by nature, so it’s still hard for me sometimes to really hold that for myself. And I’m just running things through these filters all day long. Like, if somebody says, do you want a blah blah? I’m like, is blah blah in my life vision? Right? And actually doing blah blah is going to keep me from this thing that already worked out that I want, right? And finally, I like to really connect to it on a daily basis as a ritual, right? Because the whole world seems sort of set up to get us off our block, right? To kind of persuade us and pull us and drag us and everything else. And I just want to have a daily ritual where my attention and my intention is to be fully me, right? To be fully who I am in the world. And to me, connecting to that vision really is putting a stake in the ground and saying, yeah, the world’s going to be swirling around me all day, but I know who I am and I know whose I am and I know what I stand for, and I know what direction I’m moving. And that’s what everything is going to be weighed against today.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Do you mind just sharing one or two, just so people know what it sounds like?

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Sure.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Or however many you want to share. But I know it’s deeply personal, so I don’t want it to get too personal. 

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

That’s okay. I have a happy, healthy, hot and sexy marriage that keeps getting better. 

That is a great example. Right? And sometimes during the day, you can get in some conflict and I can ask myself, is this happy? Is this healthy? This certainly ain’t hot and sexy, like, what is going on here? But it helps me to start to rise above and see actually what’s going on here is something fairly petty, and we just need to move our way through a conflict. 

Okay, I’ll give you another one. My financial one. Money comes to me easily and effortlessly. I am a wise steward of my ever growing wealth.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Amen. Amen. Past the collection plate!

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

The truth is money does actually come to me easily and effortlessly. And I sometimes know, like, I’ve been running a community for five years and a bunch of people were like, oh, you should make this a business. You should make this a business. And I’m like, I don’t wanna. Right? And would that be easy or effortless? No. Is this where I need my money to come from? It really isn’t. I’m just trying to help people. You see what I’m saying? It gives you a filter when other people are like, oh, my God, this could be great. No, right? 

I’ll give you one more. I am fit, healthy, and vibrant, right? And I’m not a huge fan of exercise, but I want to be fit. Right? I don’t care what size I am. I want to be healthy. I want to be vibrant, right? I’m 52, and I want to feel, like, better than I’ve ever felt, even if I look different, right? But guess what? When I wake up in the morning, I don’t feel like going running right. The puppy is sitting there, looking at me like, let’s go run. I don’t feel like it. But you know what? I get up, I strap the puppy around my waist, and we go running. Why? Because I want to be fit, healthy, and vibrant, right? Not just today, but as I age, I want to be radiating health, right? I want to be the best physical embodiment of me.

So I mentioned those things because, as you can see, they become these filters, right? I can choose to stay in bed, or I can choose to get up and run, or I could choose to get up and walk. I could just let the dog out. There’s all kinds of choices we’re making. Every single day, we’re literally making hundreds of little micro choices. And this is the power, which is the vision and my goals, they’re just giving a direction to all those choices. And while plenty of things are outside of my control, if I start to direct the things that are in my control, things start to change. They start to change.

 

ACT UP Segment

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

They start to change. One thing that somebody can do, I always end with this. I call it the ACT Up segment. It’s just ACT. Those are my initials. And so one thing people can do to get them closer to the life that they desire.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Take a break from social media. Unplug.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Yeah. And that’s what it’s done for you to kind of get you.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

In order to listen to your inner wisdom, you have to be able to hear. And if you’re plugged into everybody and everything else, it’s really hard to hear that inner voice because it’s quiet, it’s a whisper. And everything in our world is just screaming. And frankly, if you can’t take a break from something, that is a powerful piece of information, sometimes we call that an addiction. No shame in it. But if something has a hold on you and so much of a hold on you that you can’t go a day, a week, a month without it, that’d be some powerful,  I would have some curiosity about that.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Yeah. Dr. Rock, thank you so much. This is so great. You have been, like, literally, I don’t know if I tell you this enough, but you have been one of the biggest influences on my life. Hands down, easy. Just showed me just a new way that could exist. I literally did not know that freedom could exist at all.

I had no idea. My parents are immigrants, so they had to work in a specific way. So I just had no idea. And so you came and buzzed into my orbit and changed my whole thinking, and it had me question everything, and I’m better for it. So thank you so much.

 

Dr. Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Angel Investor + Creator of The Annual Clarity Retreat

Well, I receive that. And in case I haven’t told you. I’m so proud of you.

Best part about teaching is when you get to encounter people in that magic moment of life, when they’re figuring out who they are and to have the incredible honor of seeing them grow over time. It’s been awesome.

 

Aundrea Cine-Thomas, Host

Thank you.

 

It’s not too late to join Dr. Rockquemore’s Annual Clarity Retreat: https://kerryann.mn.co/

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